Poem number 434
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Holy Marshmallow
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God’s beard is made of marshmallows
Or so I’ve heard it told,
Marshmallows so wonderous
They can cure the common cold
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To touch a Godly Marshmallow
Is tantamount to bliss
And to taste a Godly Marshmallow?
Oh! Audrey Hepburn’s kiss!
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But you can’t touch Godly Marshmallows
It’s simply not allowed,
They have to stay right where they are
Above the Godly Cloud
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For God is quite protective
Of his sugar laden beard
And I’m sure he’d be a little miffed
If bits just disappeared
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Indeed they say that years ago
A lad called Jack Mcghee
Tried to steal a Marshmallow
And take it home for tea
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He climbed up to the Godly Cloud
And found the Godly house
Then crept in through the window
Like a sneaky little mouse
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He softly climbed the Godly stairs
To where the good Lord slept
He took a pair of scissors
But was, sadly, so inept
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With the scissors that he missed the beard
And pricked the Godly chin:
With a roar the Godly Lord awoke
And ripped off all Jack’s skin
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Enraged, he ground up all Jack’s bones
And baked them into bread
Then he burnt the loaf on purpose
Just to make sure he was dead
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So remember, though delicious
That Marsmallow’s not for you
It’s a part of God’s hirsuiteness
It’s not there for folks to chew
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It’s not worth the risk to life and limb
So follow my advice:
Just stick to earthly marshmallow
Which, though it’s not as nice
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As the Godly stuff aboard His chin
Is good for you, I swear
‘Cause the thing with Godly Marshmallows
Is God don’t like to share!
448 