11 – Grandmaster Marple

Poem number 11
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Grandmaster Marple
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Do your stuff Miss Marple
Find the killer, root them out!
Elucidate on motive
And eliminate all doubt,
Gather folk together
With the killer in their midst
Serve up some red herrings
And then cross them off the list
Before finally, The Great Reveal!
The murderer is named!
Confession, then they’re hauled away
Miss Marple wins the game!

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32 -Thank You For The Opportunity, Lord Sugar

Poem number 32
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Thank You For The Opportunity, Lord Sugar
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“You lost me bloody money!” The bearded dwarf was blunt,
His henchmen sat beside him in The Boardroom, at the front.
“You’re a total bloody shambles, you were useless, a disgrace
And now you sit here spouting bloody rubbish in my face,
You’ll be back here in a little while to talk me through this mess.
And YOU lot, you were lucky, but you won I must confess
So you go and have your little treat, the others will be back
And I’ll point my bloody finger and give one of them the sack!”

250 – Masterchef

Poem number 250
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Masterchef
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Masterchef, oh Masterchef
Where cooks of varied hues
Experiment with scallops
Before deconstructing stews
Puddings full of chocolate
So that Gregg can stuff his cheeks
Thai with so much chilli
That Torode can hardly speak
Chopping boards and mandolins
A salamander grill
Wacky combinations
That could make a person ill
Oh Masterchef, dear Masterchef
You’re back, woohoo! Yippee!
I’m off to put my feet up,
Thank you kindly BBC!