4 – Priorities

Poem number 4
A girl with no boobs in her bra
Said “A flat chest is better by far,
‘Cause golf is my thing –
Boobs would hamper my swing
And I’d never get round under par!”


189 – An Absence Of TMS

Poem number 189
An Absence Of TMS
I wanted to hear some Test cricket today
But couldn’t ’cause it wasn’t on,
Sri Lanka already blasted away
On day three, so the cricket is gone.
Days four and five simply empty, bereft
With no Test Match to help get me through
No Aggers or Geoffrey or Graeme Swann left
Just my job, on a Monday, boo hoo!
It’s not that I’m sorry that England have won
I’m a fan and a win makes me chuffed,
I’m happy that Bairstow has blasted a ton
And Sri Lanka were pretty well stuffed
But next time, Sir Jimmy, please could you postpone
Your heroics ’til Tea on day five
That way I can listen, and not be alone –
It’s the cricket that keeps me alive!

209 – Ode To Ranieri

Poem number 209
Ode To Ranieri
Oh Claudio, you little gem
You little white haired ace
Your cat has killed the pigeons
There’s a smile upon my face
You made the experts eat their words
You stole the fat cats’ chips
Your underdogs have got their day
Your name is on the lips
Of the sporting world, a miracle
Birthed safely, right on cue
Through skill and guile and humour
And a steely eye or two
After 30 years of nearliness
You’ve done it sir! And how!
The Future won’t be Leicester’s
But you own the precious Now.