13 – Damn You, Albert Einstein!

Poem number 13
Damn You, Albert Einstein!
An hour at home takes half an hour
An hour at work takes three
All because of Einstein
And his Relativity
If he’d only stuck to patents
And ignored his big IQ
Then I could leave for work at lunchtime
And be home by half past two!


36 – I Love Science

Poem number 36
I Love Science
It rains diamonds on Saturn
That’s just mental, I’m in awe!
Carbon dust falls from the sky
And down to Saturn’s floor
But the atmospheric pressure
Out on Saturn is immense
And it crushes all that carbon
In a way that’s quite intense
So before the dust has landed
It’s transformed to diamond rain
It’s amazing, awesome, wonderful
It’s Science, it’s insane!

52 – Nailing Down Water

Poem number 52
Nailing Down Water
Today is tomorrow and yesterday too
Tomorrow’s today when today is quite through
This week is last week I think you will find
And last week is next week from two weeks behind
Labels are meaningless, time moves the same
Onwards and onwards whatever the name
So use it don’t lose it if time will allow
Forget past and future, what matters is now.

327 – Playing With Bones

Poem number 327
Playing With Bones
Palaeontologists play with bones
Of creatures long since dead
A bit of femur over here
And there a bit of head
I don’t know why they play with bones
It seems a trifle staid
But a lot of people do it
So I guess it’s quite well paid
Perhaps I’ll start to play with bones
Just call my boss, and quit
But then again, perhaps I won’t
‘Cause old bones smell of shit.

382 – Large Hadron Collider

Poem number 382
Large Hadron Collider
Oh Large Hadron Collider
Spinning round beneath the soil
Doing something clever
Never ceasing in your toil
I don’t know what it is you do
I’m not scientific, me
I think it’s throwing tiny stuff
At stuff too small to see?
Some people say you’re risky
But I couldn’t say for sure
Since I don’t know what you’re doing
In your lair beneath the floor
So I’ll simply wish you best of luck
And hope it all goes well
I trust that you’ll be careful
Not to blow us all to hell.