14 – No One Loves Their Bed Like A Parent Loves Their Bed

Poem number 14
No One Loves Their Bed Like A Parent Loves Their Bed
Oh soothing sensuous blissful bed
Oasis where I rest my head
The children sleeping down the hall
No tantrums now, no bouncing ball
No battles fought with cardboard sword
No pleas for things we can’t afford
No  ‘Dad, Dad, Dad!’ Or ‘Mum, Mum, Mum!’
No skinless knee or damaged thumb
Just bed, and peace and space to pause
Just darkness in a worthwhile cause
The day was long and much enjoyed
But now, in bed, my spirit’s buoyed
By thoughts of all those hours ahead
With nought to do but lay in bed
Was e’er a rest well loved as this
A parent’s bed, a place of bliss.


62 – The Graceful Art Of Dismounting

Poem number 62
The Graceful Art Of Dismounting
Climb down from your high horse, sir
There’s nothing good see
From up there on your mountain
When you’re staring down at me.
Climb down from your high horse, sir
Get rid of your disdain
It’s cold up on the mountain
And it’s quite inclined to rain.
Climb down from your high horse, sir
Step gracefully to earth
Show the world your better side
And prove to us your worth.

132 – Admiral Ackbar

Poem number 132
Admiral Ackbar
“Admiral Ackbar!” they cry, “Admiral Ackbar!”
They charge into the crowd, lightsabres ablaze
They slash and maim and kill
No longer Jedis, though they mouth the words
Empty husks
The Dark Side has suffused and seduced them
The Force cries out in pain
And Yoda weeps.

148 – A Man Must Have Neat Trousers

Poem number 148
A Man Must Have Neat Trousers
A man must have neat trousers
Whether linen, twill or tweed
A man without neat trousers
Is a sorry man indeed.
A man without neat trousers
If you chance to chance him by
Must cast his glance e’er downwards
And not meet you eye to eye.
A man without neat trousers
Cannot carry self respect
Must count ambition thwarted
And all chance of progress wrecked.
A man MUST have neat trousers
But alas, all mine are torn
I am ruined and forsaken
Quite the lowest man e’er born.
Please buy me some neat trousers
I implore you, please be kind
I am thirty-two of leg and waist
With pert and firm behind.
A man must have neat trousers
You could set me on my way
All I ask’s a pair of trousers
Neat and tidy, charcoal grey.

244 – One Trick Pony

Poem number 244
One Trick Pony
I’m a simple, one trick pony and my trick is wearing thin
I am faded, I am jaded, I have no more plates to spin
I try to peddle what I have and hope that people buy
But as time goes on my skill is gone and folk just walk on by
For my pony trick’s transparent as an emporatic suit,
My talent’s old and weary and my trumpet’s set to mute
I have no choice or option but to peddle day to day
My trick is all I have to give, though long since dulled to grey
And a pony is a pony, whether multi-skilled or not
And you have to flog your pony if a pony’s all you’ve got
So I pedal and I peddle what I have with no remorse
I am jaded, I am faded, and I haven’t got a horse.

269 – Cognito Ergo Sum

Poem number 269
Cognito Ergo Sum
I think therefore I am, I think
Therefore I am a thought.
A thought, I think, is hidden
Therefore I cannot be sought.
The thoughts of others thinking
“I am thinking, therefore am”
Therefore become those others
They are they, not just a sham.
The thoughts that are those others
Therefore, like the thoughts of I
Are hidden in the thoughts of thought
That lie behind the eye.

I think a thought that is a thought
Therefore that thought is me,
The other is a thought of thought
That’s they, though I can’t see.
So I and they are thoughts, I think
I am and so are they
I think I have a headache
And I wish they’d go away.