207 – Instrumental

Poem number 207
I’ve been to the land where the xylophones grow
And the zithers do slither all day
Where the didgeridon’ts always didgeridoo
And the bongos just keep out the way
It’s a land where the sky’s always orange and pink
And the grass is the colour of night
The clouds have straight edges and parallel lines
And the tree branches grow to the right
It’s a land filled with music and laughter and song
Where the bagpipes rule wisely and well
It’s spotlessly clean, and calm and serene
And the sunsets are clear as a bell
I’d a thought that I’d live there for all evermore
And bathe in the glories it brings
But I got quite annoyed and my dreams were destroyed
When I found it’s where Deschanel sings
That’s right! Deschanel, Zoey of that name
Whose crooning is ever so twee
I can’t stand her voice so I’d really no choice
But to leave there, to scarper, to flee
And now I can’t live in that land with pink sky
Where the zithers do slither all day
The xylophones grow, but for me there’s no show
Because Deschanel got in the way!


305 – Cholesterol

Poem number 305
Elvis had his food deep fried
He was a chubby chap
His heart was weakened and he died
Whilst going for a crap.
All the rhinestones ever sold
Can’t clear your tubes of fat
So if you fancy getting old
Stop frying things, you twat!

322 – Immortality Rocks

Poem number 322
Immortality Rocks
Bowie’s dead, and Elvis
So are Mercury and Jones
Harrison’s as dead as spam
And Lennon’s only bones
Lemmy died quite suddenly
And Liberace slow
Orbison is lost to us
Cobain just quit the show
Joplin died at twenty-seven
So did Winehouse, A.
John Denver had a plane crash
Richey Edwards went away
Morrison in Paris
Buckley, J. in Tennessee
Duane Alman on a motorbike
Frank Zappa the Big C
All of which just proves the point
That rock stars dont quite die
Their bodies stop and crumble
And their fans all have a cry
But their names, their legends
Carry on and echo through the years
Their music is remembered
When a decade’s dried the tears
So chins up lads and lasses
Put the ipod on full blast
The flesh was weak and faded
But the soul will always last.