Poem number 100 – Lovenote From The Pretty Girl Who Sits Behind You In Maths

Poem number 100
Lovenote From The Pretty Girl Who Sits Behind You In Maths
You’ve a face like a mummified arse
You’re the ugliest chump in the class
Your hair is like leather
Left out in bad weather
Your intellect’s barely a pass
Yet still you see fit to intrigue me
Your humour is second to none
Your jokes make me giggle
Although your hair wriggles
With headlice and nits by the ton.
Your nature is charming and gentle
I’m sure that you’re loving and kind
But your nose drips like tallow
And sadly I’m shallow
And have a fantastic behind
So I have to pretend to despise you
I have to submerge how I feel
But each jibe that I make
Simply makes me more fake
Whilst my ardour grows ever more real.


392 – a=4 b=5 c=6 d=7 x=15 y=11

Poem number 392
a=4 b=5 c=6 d=7 x=15 y=11
A plus B plus C is X
Y is B plus C
A plus Y is X again
And Y is A plus D
Oh Algebra, I love you
You are symmetry sublime
Equality in number form
Unchanging over time
Bracket AB bracket minus
X will equal B
So X plus B all over A
Is 2C minus D
Equality, that’s all you need
Just treat both sides the same
If you always keep your symmetry
You’re never out the game
A plus D is B plus C
2A plus D is X
Take off Y you’re back to A
It’s Algebraic sex!
It’s numbers, pure and simple
Nothing here to cause alarm
You’d love it if you’d only learn
To see their graceful charm
The way they waltz and pirouette
Around the equals sign
Constant, always constant
Ever placid and benign.
It’s algebra, it’s symmetry
With lines so sharp and clean
Equations for a higher truth
So beautiful, serene.