1 – The Very Last Poem

Poem number 1
The Very Last Poem
This is the very last poem
I’ve got to the end of the road
For better or worse
There’ll be no more verse
When I’ve got to the end of this ode.
This is the very last poem
I’ve run out of meter and rhyme
The cupboard is bare
No haikus in there
Just silence, to last for all time.
This is the very last poem,
I’ll leave with a thought if I may:
There’s magic in words
So if life gives you turds
Just read, and the shit goes away.


2 – On Vegetables And Destiny

Poem number 2
On Vegetables And Destiny
I was only the Greengrocer’s bag-boy
But I knew how to dig up a spud
I could pick perfect peas
And shake fruit from the trees
Tell a good runner bean from a dud.
The village folk called me Veg Wonder
And said with my skills I’d go far
But bored with my greens
I soon split the scene
In a knackered and rusty old car.
I drove up the coastline to Norway
Where I granted my dying mum’s wish
I opened a chippy
Called Old Mr Drippy
And spent my life battering fish.

11 – Grandmaster Marple

Poem number 11
Grandmaster Marple
Do your stuff Miss Marple
Find the killer, root them out!
Elucidate on motive
And eliminate all doubt,
Gather folk together
With the killer in their midst
Serve up some red herrings
And then cross them off the list
Before finally, The Great Reveal!
The murderer is named!
Confession, then they’re hauled away
Miss Marple wins the game!

14 – No One Loves Their Bed Like A Parent Loves Their Bed

Poem number 14
No One Loves Their Bed Like A Parent Loves Their Bed
Oh soothing sensuous blissful bed
Oasis where I rest my head
The children sleeping down the hall
No tantrums now, no bouncing ball
No battles fought with cardboard sword
No pleas for things we can’t afford
No¬† ‘Dad, Dad, Dad!’ Or ‘Mum, Mum, Mum!’
No skinless knee or damaged thumb
Just bed, and peace and space to pause
Just darkness in a worthwhile cause
The day was long and much enjoyed
But now, in bed, my spirit’s buoyed
By thoughts of all those hours ahead
With nought to do but lay in bed
Was e’er a rest well loved as this
A parent’s bed, a place of bliss.