8 – Kinder Surprise

Poem number 8
Kinder Surprise
I opened up a Kinder Egg
A finger was inside
Not plastic, but a real one
From a person who had died
It smelt a bit of rotten eggs
The end was turning black
The bone was white and gleaming
And the skin was pale and slack
I felt quite disappointed
I’d expected something fun
But this finger wasn’t pleasant
Now its pointing days were done
So I took it to the bathroom
And I flushed it down the loo
And I’ll be writing off to Kinder
For a refund, PDQ!


19 – WTF? WTF? WTF!

Poem number 19
The world went fucking mad today
I really don’t know what to say
I watched all night and muttered sadly
Watched his speech and giggled madly
Surely, surely it’s a joke
That they have picked this nutty bloke
To hold the nukes and keep the peace
Please wake me up, I need release
But no. It’s not a joke or trick
This total madman was their pick,
Four years now to hide and cower,
What a night. Our darkest hour?

28 -The Dead Man In The Basement

Poem number 28
The Dead Man In The Basement
The Dead Man In The Basement
Should be out of sight and mind
But The Dead Man In The Basement
Well, he’s nothing of the kind.
The Dead Man In The Basement
Smells of pork and long goodbyes,
The house is always buzzing
With his colony of flies.
The Dead Man In The Basement
Left his mark upon my wall,
A vivid scarlet bloodstain
From the night he took his fall.
The Dead Man In The Basement
Hasn’t gone, he’s always there
In the creaking of my floorboards
And the cobwebs in my hair.
The Dead Man In The Basement
Lies in waiting for the day
When he rises from the basement
With a grin, and makes me pay.

31 – Drawn Through Darkness

Poem number 31
Drawn Through Darkness
The darkness drags you through the seams
Of normal life through shattered dreams
And nightmares from a different age
More primal, violent, full of rage
The midnight streets drip ragged malice
Homeless in a cardboard palace
Dealers push to earn their corn
Pockmarked ladies, real life porn
For fifty quid the world is yours
Inhaled through atavistic pores
How easy now to fall from grace
This darkness is another place
To yield is easy, simple sin
To weaken senses, just give in
But then the wolves arrive in packs
Too late, my friend, to hide your tracks
The fallen, tempted, easy prey
The boots kick out, the world goes grey.

56 – Bin Lorry From Hell

Poem number 56
Bin Lorry From Hell
The bin lorry thunders through pre-morning streets
A cacophonous torrent of sound
That municipal tank with its clatters and clanks
Scares a milkman who’s still on his round.
The engine screams back from the wall of the vets
And rattles the glass in the door
The rumble that’s forced through the massive exhaust
Brings tremors and quakes to the floor.
As the truck pummels past there’s a rush and a blast
Of hot air that swirls cyclones of muck
Dead leaves jump and spin round a vacuum within
In the wake of this terrible truck.
An assault on the senses that bounces off fences
To echo in front and behind
The noise and the smell are a gateway to hell
And the headlights could leave a man blind
A moment of terror for those out of bed
And engaged in pedestrian things
Then the noise fades away in the new morning grey
And a bird plucks up courage to sing.
With the bin lorry gone as the day moves along
There’s a sense that that fright was a dream
The rush and the roar and the trembling floor
And the engine that revved to a scream.
The memory will fade like an over-washed sock
‘Til next week at the same time and place
When the truck will return all demonic, infernal
And punch you again the face.

114 – A Thousand Starlings

Poem number 114
A Thousand Starlings
The boughs bend under the weight of a thousand starlings
Sharp eyes and sharp beaks
Malevolence speaks
Through a thunder of wings as they lift off to devour some mother’s darling.
Black feathered predators, swooping down on the unguarded child
Pecking eyes, ripping cheeks
Red blood leaks
As the mother screams her despair, humankind returned to the wild.
Starlings are feral and should be feared when they gather together
Assassins so sleek
With a threat that’s unique
So be alert, don’t lose focus for a second lest your child is gone forever.

123 – OnOffOnOffGone

Poem number 123
I switched the light switch on again
The Devil was still there
I switched the light switch off again
Could smell his cordite hair
I switched the light switch on again
He flashed his pointy teeth
He switched the light switch off again
And dragged me down beneath.

134 – No Room For Flowers

Poem number 134
No Room For Flowers
Rubble and glass and broken doors
Rubbish and stones and bits of floor
Crisp packets, gravel, scavenging rats
A scooter, a golfball some mouldy old mats
Waterlogged mattresses, packets of fags
Old cardboard boxes and nappies in bags,
Our garden’s a pigsty, a mess, overgrown
I’m too scared to clear it – I leave it alone
I keep the door bolted I stay safe inside
Pretend the lawn’s empty, an easier ride
The neighbours don’t like it but sod ’em I say
They should put up a fence or just go, move away
An Englishman’s garden’s his castle, his fief
And besides, it’s the place where I buried the wife.
(And her lover).

172 – Rest In Peace

Poem number 172
Rest In Peace
Enjoy the silence
The absence of all noise
No loud distractions
Or disruptive girls and boys
No bangs no smashes
And no babies screaming through the night
Just total silence
You can concentrate alright.
The dark, the heavy space
The earth piled high above
No air upon your face
No words from those you love
The wooden walls so close
You can feel the splinters with your toe
You always wanted peace and quiet
But you didn’t want to go.
Suffocate in silence
The air is stale and sparse
You were only sleeping
Now you’ve got your wish at last
No noise, no screaming kids
Just muffled fright and silent fear
You’ve got your peace and quiet
But it’s you that disappeared.