144 – One Night In Amityville

Poem number 144
One Night In Amityville
The gate squeaked
My mind freaked
I couldn’t speak
My fear peaked
The future bleak
My bowels leaked
The bed reeked
I’d found Shit Creek.


270 – Return Of The Cat

Poem number 270
Return Of The Cat
The cat is back
Although it’s dead
I hear it as
I lie in bed
The same light claws
The same miaow
What was a pain
Is eerie now
I fear the cat
Does bear a grudge
I’ve filled my boxers
Up with fudge
I hear it coming
Up the stair
Miaow miaow
It isn’t fair
My end is nigh
I’m sure of that
I wish I hadn’t
Killed the cat.

328 – The Rooster Crowed At Midnight

Poem number 328
The Rooster Crowed At Midnight 
The rooster crowed at midnight
It was old, and past its prime
Senility had robbed it
Of the gift of telling time.
The farmer woke at midnight
He was old, and none too chuffed
To be startled from his dreaming
So he had the rooster stuffed.
The phantom crowed at midnight
And the farmer died of shock
So the moral of this fable is
Don’t ever stuff your cock!