144 – One Night In Amityville

Poem number 144
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One Night In Amityville
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The gate squeaked
My mind freaked
I couldn’t speak
My fear peaked
The future bleak
My bowels leaked
The bed reeked
I’d found Shit Creek.

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270 – Return Of The Cat

Poem number 270
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Return Of The Cat
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The cat is back
Although it’s dead
I hear it as
I lie in bed
The same light claws
The same miaow
What was a pain
Is eerie now
I fear the cat
Does bear a grudge
I’ve filled my boxers
Up with fudge
I hear it coming
Up the stair
Miaow miaow
It isn’t fair
My end is nigh
I’m sure of that
I wish I hadn’t
Killed the cat.

328 – The Rooster Crowed At Midnight

Poem number 328
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The Rooster Crowed At Midnight 
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The rooster crowed at midnight
It was old, and past its prime
Senility had robbed it
Of the gift of telling time.
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The farmer woke at midnight
He was old, and none too chuffed
To be startled from his dreaming
So he had the rooster stuffed.
.
The phantom crowed at midnight
And the farmer died of shock
So the moral of this fable is
Don’t ever stuff your cock!