154 – On Beards And Other Matters

Poem number 154
On Beards And Other Matters
I have persistent stubble
My girlfriend gives me flack
I shave my beard off twice a day –
The bastard just grows back.
It’s a battle of attrition
It’s a war I cannot win
I know that I am going to lose
Before I yet begin.
So now from this day forward
I won’t shave my beard no more –
If the girlfriend doesn’t like it
Then I’ll help her through the door.
I’ll grow a beard like Birdseye’s
Big and bushy, wild and free
I’ll quit my job and buy a pipe
And head on out to sea
Sailors don’t need razors
It’s a hirsute life of joy
Farewell hours of shaving
Splice the mainbrace! Beard Ahoy!


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