156 – Day Trip To Calais

Poem number 156
Day Trip To Calais
I went into a cafe
And I asked for a baguette
The lady said “You’re English? Then it’s Hovis that you get,
And don’t you ask for pate
Nor our camembert or brie
For you we just have marmite –
‘Cause that English too, you see?
You said you hated Europe
So French food is out of bounds,
We don’t stock beans or cheddar
And we don’t take English pounds
So if marmite’s not your cup of tea
There’s nothing here for you
The Brexit door’s just over there –
Why don’t you step on through?
Go home and chew your kidney pies
Enjoy your boring cheese
Your wishy washy coffee
And your gammon, egg and peas,
We’ll keep our freshly baked baguettes
Charcuterie and wine
Go home and have some floppy bread
I’m sure you’ll do just fine.”


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