293 – Date Modern

Poem Number 293
Date Modern
Bugger bollocks bumholes
Bugger bollocks poo
I tried my luck on match.com
And ended up with you
It’s not that you are ugly
And it’s not that you’re too tall
In fact you’ve nothing very wrong
With anything at all
But I’m fussy and I’m pushed for time
And you don’t hit the spot
I set my cap at excellence
But that’s not what I got
So forgive me, we won’t meet again
I hope that you don’t mind
I’m going back to match.com
To see who I can find
Bugger bollocks bumholes
No, no, let me get the tab
Bugger bollocks shitpoo
And I’ll put you in a cab
Bugger bollocks bumholes
That’s the fifteenth date I’ve had
Bugger bollocks shitpoo
I was hopeful, now I’m sad.


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