370 – Alternative Carol Number 1

Poem number 370
.
Alternative Carol Number 1
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God rest you Merry Gentlemen
I trust you’re feeling fine
It’s Christmas and your in-laws
Have come round to drink your wine
Your psychopathic neighbour’s
Lynched your cat with garden twine
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
.
God rest you Merry Womenfolk
Excitement’s on the way
A morning in the kitchen
Will define your Christmas Day
If you burn the Brussels sprouts
Your man will make you pay
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
.
God rest us every one of us
May fortune hold us dear
Christmas is a nightmare
And we’re filled with aching fear
If we make it through to Boxing Day
We might just see New Year
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy.

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