376 – The Buttocks Of A Gentleman

Poem number 376
The Buttocks Of A Gentleman
The buttocks of a gentleman should never be exposed
In between the hours of noon and half-past-two,
Whilst the decent folk are sitting there in dainty little rows
Eating starters, soup then rustic Irish stew
It would be the height of rudeness, and completely past the pale
To subject those dainty diners to an arse
And furthermore the baring of a buttock cannot fail
To reveal a lack of breeding, and of class
For no decent chap would foist his hairy buttocks on the world
And a fellow who would break that last taboo
Will be labelled as a bounder, and his reputation hurled
Down a deep and rancid sewer pit of poo
So beware, potential buttock barers, ‘ware and heed my cry
You must never, ever, ever bare your bum
Whilst the gentle folk are chewing on their steak and stilton pie
Lest your name be damned from here to kingdom come!


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