426 – Mrs Merton’s Pets

Poem number 426

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Mrs Merton’s Pets

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The cat sat on the roundabout and looked across the road

Past pheasant flat and badger burst and tyre-treaded toad

Past squirrel squashed and pigeon popped, through petrol laden fog

To the cause of all the carnage, all the corpses and dead dogs

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The magical, the mythical, Old Mrs Merton’s Pets

Where every creature known to man can get a bit of sex

So humdrum on the outside, so sultry from within

The creatures flock from miles around to get a bit of sin

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But sadly there’s this road outside, where traffic always flows

And a stream of horny animals get squished in tidy rows

So now the cat sat patiently, his loins a feline fire

Watching for a chance to dodge the taxis and the tyres

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At last! An opportunity, a momentary pause

A chance to fly across the road on ardour fuelled paws

But alas! He had a blind spot! He didn’t see the truck!

Another wasted crumpled cat, just dying for a…

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