426 – Mrs Merton’s Pets

Poem number 426


Mrs Merton’s Pets


The cat sat on the roundabout and looked across the road

Past pheasant flat and badger burst and tyre-treaded toad

Past squirrel squashed and pigeon popped, through petrol laden fog

To the cause of all the carnage, all the corpses and dead dogs


The magical, the mythical, Old Mrs Merton’s Pets

Where every creature known to man can get a bit of sex

So humdrum on the outside, so sultry from within

The creatures flock from miles around to get a bit of sin


But sadly there’s this road outside, where traffic always flows

And a stream of horny animals get squished in tidy rows

So now the cat sat patiently, his loins a feline fire

Watching for a chance to dodge the taxis and the tyres


At last! An opportunity, a momentary pause

A chance to fly across the road on ardour fuelled paws

But alas! He had a blind spot! He didn’t see the truck!

Another wasted crumpled cat, just dying for a…


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