434 – Holy Marshmallow!

Poem number 434


Holy Marshmallow


God’s beard is made of marshmallows

Or so I’ve heard it told,

Marshmallows so wonderous

They can cure the common cold


To touch a Godly Marshmallow

Is tantamount to bliss

And to taste a Godly Marshmallow?

Oh! Audrey Hepburn’s kiss!


But you can’t touch Godly Marshmallows

It’s simply not allowed,

They have to stay right where they are

Above the Godly Cloud


For God is quite protective

Of his sugar laden beard

And I’m sure he’d be a little miffed

If bits just disappeared


Indeed they say that years ago

A lad called Jack Mcghee

Tried to steal a Marshmallow

And take it home for tea


He climbed up to the Godly Cloud

And found the Godly house

Then crept in through the window

Like a sneaky little mouse


He softly climbed the Godly stairs

To where the good Lord slept

He took a pair of scissors

But was, sadly, so inept


With the scissors that he missed the beard

And pricked the Godly chin:

With a roar the Godly Lord awoke

And ripped off all Jack’s skin


Enraged, he ground up all Jack’s bones

And baked them into bread

Then he burnt the loaf on purpose

Just to make sure he was dead


So remember, though delicious

That Marsmallow’s not for you

It’s a part of God’s hirsuiteness

It’s not there for folks to chew


It’s not worth the risk to life and limb

So follow my advice:

Just stick to earthly marshmallow

Which, though it’s not as nice


As the Godly stuff aboard His chin

Is good for you, I swear

‘Cause the thing with Godly Marshmallows

Is God don’t like to share!


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