448 – Major General Toothbrush

Poem number 448

Major General Toothbrush

I have a special toothbrush

That I use to brush my teeth

He cleans away the evil plaque

And bits of shredded beef


He has a little motor

So his business end vibrates

And his bristles are quite clever

Because every one rotates


I keep him in the bathroom

By the sink, just to the right

And I gaze upon his wonders

When I go there every night


I sit upon the bowl and think

By jove! That’s quite a chap

Just waiting there so patiently

For me to run the tap


Standing at attention

Like a soldier on parade

Never prone to boredom

Always ready, never paid


When I squeeze the toothpaste

In a blob upon his head

Does he flinch or pull away?

No chance! He smiles instead


It only takes one tug upon

His starter motor cord

For his engine – brrmm! – to spring to life

And put my plaque to sword


Toothbrush! Major General!

I salute you, every day

Thank God for you and all your kind

Who help me fight decay!


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